CHAPTER SEVEN

Angel Clare

Angel Clare and his family had not planned for him to be a farmer. When he was young people said he was very talented and that he could do anything. But now a look in his eyes showed that he did not know what he wanted to do with his life.

He was a poor minister's youngest son. When he was a boy, his father discovered that Angel was reading a book that questioned the truth of God and the church. The minister worried that his son could not work for the church if he read books like this one. Then, Angel told his father that he did not want to be a minister. He said the church was too strict and did not allow him to think freely.

His father was shocked. The minister had a deep belief in God. And if his son did not want to be a minister, what was the point of sending him to college? He believed that the only reason to go to university was to become a minister.

"I want to question my beliefs," said Angel. "Then, what is left after I have questioned my ideas will be much stronger."

"But Angel, your family has saved money to send you to college like your brothers. But you cannot go if you are not learning to become a minister."

So Angel did not go to university. After years of staying at home, he decided to become a farmer. Then, he thought, he would have the freedom to think. As a farmer, he would be independent. So at the age of 26, Angel went to work at Talbothays and learn to farm.

When he arrived, he spent most of his time in his room. He read and played the harmonica. Then he decided to study human nature, so he ate with the other men and women in the dining room. The longer he lived at Talbothays, the more he liked simple country people. He did not think that they were unintelligent. He understood that they were the same as he was. They were all people who would someday die.

He began to enjoy his work, and he learned about nature and life. He learned about the changing seasons, different types of wind and water. He heard the voices of nature. He had not known any of this before.

In the days after Tess arrived, Angel Clare did not notice her. But one morning while he ate breakfast and sang a tune, he heard Tess' voice. It was beautiful and sounded like a song. Then he saw her seated at the table.

"She looks fresh and pure," Angel thought. "She is a true daughter of nature."

He thought he had seen her before, but could not remember where. But he knew he had seen her when his life was easier and happier, before he was forced to make difficult decisions. This caused him to look at Tess more often than at the other milkmaids.

Mr Crick made all the people who worked at the dairy milk different cows every day. He did not want the cows to become used to just one person. He feared that if a worker left the dairy, the cows would not want to be milked by anyone else. For Tess, the cows she had to milk all became her favorites. This made milking easier for her. Soon she discovered that it was not by accident. It was because Angel Clare sent the cows in for milking and chose who would milk the cows.

"Mr Clare, you always give me my favorite cows," she told him one day. Tess turned red.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "You do not plan to leave the dairy."

"I want to leave in the future, but I don't know when."

After she had spoken, Tess was angry with herself. She had acted like he was involved with her decision whether or not to stay. After the evening milking was done, she went for a walk in the garden to think about what she had said.

It was a summer evening in June. The air was clean and it was silent. Then Tess heard the sound of a harmonica in the air. Tess was curious. She walked towards the sound and saw Mr Clare. He did not see Tess.

The tune moved through her body and Tess began to cry softly. Angel finished playing and saw Tess. She turned red and tried to walk away.

"Where are you going, Tess? Are you afraid?"

"No, I'm not afraid of nature or of outdoor things," Tess said.

"Are you afraid of things you find indoors?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Are you afraid of life?"

"Yes."

"Well," said Angel, "life is very serious. There are many reasons to be afraid. But I didn't expect a young woman like you to have these thoughts. Tell me why you feel this way."

Tess was quiet. Then she said, "It is possible to see hundreds of days of your life lined up in a row. The first day is large and clear. Then the days get smaller further away. They look hard."

After some more silence, she said, "But your music makes these thoughts go away."

Angel Clare was surprised that the dairymaid had such sad thoughts. She seemed to be expressing the hopelessness of modern life. Her sadness made Tess more interesting to him, but he still knew nothing about her.

Tess did not understand why a man from a good family with a good education and independence should be sad to be alive. She could not believe that this talented and lucky man had wanted to die, just like she had two or three years ago. He was not living with other gentlemen, but he was studying something he liked. It was obvious that he would become a rich farmer.

Both Tess and Angel were curious. They wanted to know more about each other.

Tess thought of Angel as an intelligent person rather than as a man. It made her sad to think about how much more he knew than she did. One day he asked her why she was sad.

"I think I've wasted my life. When I think about all the things you know, I feel like I am nothing," said Tess.

"Oh Tess," he said, "I would be happy to help you study anything you want. We could study history."

"I don't know. I don't want to learn history. I'll just discover that my life is the same as many other lives. I only want to know one thing. I want to know why the sun shines on good and evil things just the same."

Her voice began to shake.

"Tess, you seem bitter." But Clare had thought similar things in the past. When he looked at her face, he thought she must have heard someone else ask these questions. He did not know about her terrible history. He did not think that she had guilty feelings about her past.

After Angel left, Tess felt very stupid. She wondered if she could impress him by telling him about her d'Urberville relatives. Maybe then he would respect her. She asked the head dairyman if Mr Clare was interested in old family histories.

"No," said Mr Crick. "He is a rebel. He hates old family history."

But this was not how Clare really felt. Even so, Tess was glad she had not told him about the d'Urbervilles.

(end of section)